Learning languages

My girlfriend and I had an exchange yesterday that reminded me that my knowledge of Dutch (and all other languages besides English) is Paris-Hilton-shallow:

Me, looking at the baseball results on the computer: "Jesus! My pitcher got murdered today!"
Her, slightly alarmed: "Really???"
Me, a bit abashed: "No, not really ... I mean, he gave up a lot of runs today."

The point being, my girlfriend (whose native tongue is German) speaks very good English, and even she still sometimes gets tripped up by expressions like that (although she is picking up the rules and jargon of baseball, so even those won't trouble her much any more). In stark contrast, my Dutch is good enough to get by in many common situations, but is still so poor that even if I understand the literal meaning of an expression, I'm very unlikely to grok the true meaning. The sweet seduction of beer, books, and the X-box leave me with little time or motivation to improve my language skills. My carefully constructed excuse for this laziness goes like this: I don't plan on living in Holland the rest of my life, maybe only a couple years more, who knows, so becoming fluent in a language that is fairly useless outside of the Netherlands and northern Belgium will have a poor payoff in the long-run. Thus, my failure to improve my Dutch constitutes sound long-term planning. See how that works? That's the result of years of convoluted rationalization.

But sometimes I wonder if improving my Dutch would be worth it for its own sake, both to improve my experience while I am living here, and for the intellectual boost of mastering another language. I kind of think it would be.

Here, for your enjoyment, are a few Dutch idioms that I have picked up in my time here:

"Schiet op" -- literally: "shoot up". In English: "hurry up".

"Ik keek met mijn neus" -- literally: "I looked with my nose". That's what they say for the occasion when you overlook something that's right in front of you.

"Lange tenen" -- literally: "long toes". A person with long toes is easily offended.

"Daar zit hij nu met zijn gebakken peren" -- literally: "There he sits with his fried pears". This is my favorite, although I'm not entirely clear on its usage. One plausible explanation I've heard is that it's the equivalent of the British term "Billy no-mates" -- i.e. a friendless person who threw a party and cooked up a dessert and everything, and nobody showed up, so the person is left sitting with the fried fruit.

Intelligent Falling

There's been a lot of stuff recently about "Intelligent Design", the alternative to straight-forward evolution that is being promoted by American religious folks as an equally valid viewpoint that should be taught in grade school biology classes. As you might know, I'm terrifically interested in the theory of evolution, and realize that while it's the foundation of all modern biology, there are still quirks which remain controversial among biologists. So even though this Intelligent Design malarkey is a facade for getting a little bit of God into public schools, I still appreciate that it's asking important questions about evolution -- I myself sometimes wish I'd taken a different career path, one in which I'd be filling the gaps of knowledge about our evolutionary past. It's good to be reminded about the silliness of the movement behind Intelligent Design though, as I was in an article in this week's Onion about Intelligent Falling, the alternative to the theory of gravity.

And I'm back in the Netherlands after a short but fun trip to the States; we got to hang out in Cambridge and Boston with my friend Gary, and had a fun time in Akron for my sister's wedding. My girlfriend and I also joined my folks for an Indians game, my first in years, and despite some rain and bad Tribe pitching, it was nice to be back at Jacobs Field. I had a hot dog and got myself a new cap and my lady friend seemed to not object to her first baseball experience (although it was mainly the funky mustard that excited her, I think (understandably so -- you're missing out if you haven't had the stadium mustard in Cleveland -- I'm not kidding)).

Homeward Bound

We are off to the U.S. soon, first to Boston to see the town and visit a friend of mine,* and then to my hometown of Akron to attend my sister's wedding. My little sister's wedding. That makes me feel a bit old. And by this time next year, I could be an uncle. That would be pretty cool. I'm a bit sorry I don't live closer, so I can hang out with the new chubbin, an exciting new blood relative. I would like to influence it while its still young. You know, teach him or her to appreciate baseball, and cooking, and free-market economics. The basics.

I'll also probably see one of my oldest friends, who I've known since I was nine. He'll be coming to visit in September, which I find terribly thrilling. He's never been to Europe, so there's a lot I'd like him to see. And I've had a loooooong visitor drought, which I'm glad will be snapped. It's fun to show people around and demonstrate my not-great-but-not-terrible Dutch in action. I guess we'll have to hit the Big Four Tourist Attractions in Amsterdam: the Anne Frank House, the Van Gogh museum, a coffee shop, and the red light district. And maybe a boat tour. Ho hum. But still! It'll be cool to show someone around Delft, and Rotterdam, and introduce him to Belgian beer, and bitterballen ... yeah, it'll be great.

* And also to see Coldplay right after we arrive, I found out today. We'll be bushed, but I hear they put on a good concert. I hope we stay awake.